I Hate Snuggies!

Snuggies go by many names. The Slanket, the Freedom blanket, and of course the Snuggie. I hate them all. If you have a snuggie don't take this the wrong way but you kind of suck. If you don't have a snuggie but you want one, you too kind of suck. Children are excluded because they are not smart enough to know better.

I could make this into a conversation about the consumer society that we live in where you can create a totally useless product and people spend their hard earned recession money to get it. But I'd rather point out that people are idiots.

A snuggie is a backwards robe without the belt. You can try to argue that its not, but I went to college and I know what the hell a robe is, and I can tell when someone is wearing it backwards. And how lazy are you that you can't take your arm out of a blanket for the 15 seconds it takes to use the remote or take a sip of whatever your drink of choice is (probably wine). You suck for being that lazy. You don't want your arms to get cold? Then put on a sweatshirt or some other shirt with long sleeves. Buying a snuggie is a colossal waste of money.

I am amazed that seemingly intelligent people can want such a worthless product. I do have a solution though. Anyone who wants a snuggie, call me and I will buy it for you, but you must let me punch you in the face first. After I punch you in the face, you still won't get the snuggie. I'm sorry but I'm a fother mucker.